2008-12-10

Revelations

Hi everyone! Hows it going? I had a fun day. I made Gak with the kids! If you want to read about our Gakky adventures, visit my other blog, Slow Down, Gym Shoe!
Anyway. Last time I wrote, I was feeling sort of morose. But I am actually feeling better today, a little. You see, the other day in class, my teacher for some reason mentioned a former student she had, a guy with a really severe learning disability, who took about fifteen years to finish his degree program, and then could only teach early childhood classes because he just couldn't academically handle anything beyond that. But he turned out to be an awesome preschool teacher, of course!
The story made me feel better because it made me realize that I'm not in a race here. I do have special needs, and it has always, always, always taken me longer to do things and learn things than it takes the average person. And I always do things in my own way, too. For instance, my parents started teaching me to ride a two-wheeler when I was four or five, but I just couldn't do it the usual way... with my parents running alongside me and then letting go of the back of my bike. It terrified me and I wasn't that great at balancing. They eventually took off my training wheels anyway, and I sort of boycotted my bike for a while.
Eventually, though, I taught myself how to ride a different way. I would sit on my bike, with my feet touching the sidewalk, and I would sort of run along until my wheels were going pretty fast. Then I'd put my feet on the pedals, and off I'd go! For some reason, that way worked for me. And within a few weeks I was able to ride my bike like any other kid, without even using my "running start" method. Pretty much everything in my life has been this way.
So I've been thinking... Maybe I just need to slow down a little! When I was taking part time classes, I always, always, always got A's... because I was able to really focus on the one or two classes I had. I was working six hours a day as a special ed teacher's aide, then going to school at night once or twice a week, and it worked really well for me.
So maybe what I need to do next semester is, just take two classes. Definitely not so many night classes. Its been too hard for me to leave after watching the kids, and then go to school. Plus it was always too tempting to ditch school, when Diana and Jimmy came home and I could hang out with them instead! I just need more balance.
It is my mom who is constantly pressuring me to do more, do more, do more. But I have to ignore her because I know myself better than she does. I know what I can handle. It may take me an extra year or two to get my teaching degree, but so what, right? I really think it is better to slow down, and focus, and get A's in my classes, than to take on a full load, have trouble focusing, be stressed out and tired and sick all the time, and barely pass my classes with C's.
What do you think?

1 comments:

brandonsmom_02 said...

I think that whatever you decide, you should be most proud of yourself for thinking it through and thinking of yourself and coming up with a solution.

So much better than giving up!!!

I'm very proud! My little girl is growing up! LOL (kidding) :)

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