Speak up!

So today was a pretty good day! I got a lot of homework finished. I went to my conference with my Social Justice teacher, who said I'm getting anywhere between an A and a C, depending on how I do on this report. (No pressure there, right?) So I've been working hard on it. She actually gave me things I need to improve on in my report, which is weird, because usually teachers think my writing is great! Ugh.
And she said I have to start speaking up more in class. She said that when I do say something, the things I say show that I've been listening really hard and I know exactly whats going on, and my ideas are good, but that I mostly keep them to myself too much.
In every class I take, teachers say something along those lines. Its called "class participation" and its really hard for me. Although I am good at expressing myself in writing, I am not very good at expressing myself in spoken words. In fact, I am horrible at it! I took a Speech class, and I'm even okay at that, when I have lots of time to organize and think about what I'm going to say. Thats more like writing. But spontaneous speaking is hard for me. When I open my mouth, mish-mash comes out! I'm so bad at it that I actually hate ordering my own things at the bar, because first of all I have trouble getting people to actually acknowledge that I'm standing there wanting to say something, and then I'm terrified of actually talking!
Plus in my Social Justice class there are so many STRONG personalities. You know the type. The type that just FEEL like they have SO much to say, and that EVERYONE should shut up and listen to them. The kind that make their voices heard in every interaction in class, and will argue with you just for the sake of arguing with you, just for the sake of showing everyone how strong their personality is and how much they have to say. You know that kind of person? My classroom is full of them!
I actually told that to my teacher when she asked me why I don't speak up in class. She started laughing and rolling her eyes and saying, "I know, I know, I've been having problems with those people all semester." Seriouisly. The kind of people where, if you say the sky is blue, need to speak up and say, "Actually, sometimes its dark blue, and sometimes its gray, and by the way, I painted it that way!"

In other neeeeeeeeeeeeews.....
I got two voicemail messages from my older brother today. Yep. Haven't heard from him in so long, I was sure he was in jail somewhere! And you never know, he might have just gotten out of jail somewhere, because thats when he usually calls me... a few weeks after he's out of jail, once he's gotten someplace to live and some sort of job. He likes to leave me messages saying how his life is great, he's doing great, he's got a job, he's off drugs, he's quitting drinking, everything is legal. He likes to put his phone up to the stereo at the end of the voicemail message so that I can hear what he's listening to. (If I actually do answer the phone, half of the phone call goes like, "Listen to this song, this describes me totally," followed by some sort of hip-hop or heavy metal blasting into my ear. So, yeah. Apparently he's still in Wisconsin, has a full-time job, and has everything he needs, including a computer, and he says he'll email me when he learns how to. And by the way, don't tell his phone number to that bitch who calls herself his stepdaughter, because he doesn't want her to know where he is.


Anonymous said...

nice to meet you... I am out of computer time tonight but will return and read your doings and goings about school.

I am currently studying to take the CLEP for Spanish I and II, hoping that will save me some $$

I begin classes again, after 17 years in Jan of 09!

I'll be back

brandonsmom_02 said...

hahaha...so true! tonight it was country though! LMAO

I'm glad you took the time to talk to your teacher....maybe just getting to know you a little better will help out.

till tomorrow!

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