And For My Next Trick...

Now that the backpack project is over, I have come up with yet another obsession that will last me about a month! Actually two obsessions. I am going to simutaneously participate in NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo for the month of November!
Basically NaNoWriMo is a contest where you write a novel in one month. You try to write about 1,567 words a day, resulting in a full-length novel at the end of the month. And NaBloPoMo is a similar contest where you commit to writing a blog entry every single day that month! SO I am combining the two. I am going to write my life story. Every day I will post a section of it as my daily blog entry.
Be sure to tune in each day! The first entry will be posted the day after Halloween!
I'll still be posting normal things too, so you may find two entries on some days. Lucky you!

In other words... no word from the girls or their dad. I tried calling him and texting him but my calls and texts were ignored. Even my texts to Melissa were ignored, and when I called her she wouldn't say anything at all! Its obvious I'm never going to see them again. I don't know what I'm going to do, except wait it out. Melissa is old enough to call me herself if she needs something or if she's in trouble or just wants to talk, so hopefully we won't completely lose contact.


On the bright side... tomorrow is Halloween!

Halloween Animations


You Want A Piece of This, Ese?

Ugh, what a long weekend, I feel like I'm gonna pass out at any minute! It was mostly good though!
First of all, Saturday was Make A Difference Day, and some new friends and I collected and assembled 21 backpacks full of books, toys, personal hygiene items, and comfort items for kids entering foster care. Here's a picture of me by a van loaded with all of the backpacks!

so, that was a good experience, definitely!
On Sunday we planned on going to Boo At The Zoo, and we decided to stop and get Melissa and Maggie as well. Brandon had called Melissa's cell phone and asked if she and Maggie could go, and then on the way there I called to double check that it was okay.
If you've been reading this blog for a while, you probably know a little about Melissa and Maggie, but if you don't, I'll try to sum it up quickly.
Their mother: A woman who seemed to try hard but eventually succumbed to her crack addiction and abandoned her kids to the foster care system.
Their dad: fought for several years to get them out of the foster care system and to get custody of him, but REALLY isn't that great of a person. Emotionally unstable and an alcoholic, he can be very intimidating. He's cut off all connections the girls have ever had with family members, former foster parents, etc... and the only reason he still lets ME see them (I was a friend of their mother when they were very small) is because he thinks somehow I'm going to be his girlfriend and marry him. He also wanted to get Diana to be his girlfriend, right after Diana left her husband, and it got to the point where Diana had to ask him to leave her house one night when he came to visit, because he was intimidating her.

OK. So we pull up in the parking lot, and I call Melissa's phone because we're running sort of late and we want to get to the zoo ASAP so we won't miss the Halloween festivities. So Melissa comes running down, but their dad follows them, and Maggie is at the top of the stairs of the apartment building, trying to prevent their dad from coming down. I go up to see what is going on, and their dad tells me, "Maggie seems to think I won't let her go if I see who is taking her." I say, "Its okay, Maggie, nothing is wrong," and start leading Maggie down to the car, where Diana and Jimmy and the kids are waiting.
Their dad sees Jimmy and starts screaming for Melissa to get out of the car, and then goes to Jimmy and starts yelling, "Ese! You want a piece of me?" and making fists at him. We were all stunned... partially because Jimmy is Korean, so we didn't know what all the "ese" business was about.
Melissa and Maggie were crying hysterically, the other kids were getting scared, and nobody knew what to do... so we just drove away.
It was so horrible. Dude, it was like a nightmare! We think their dad was probably drunk, and that leads back to a whole nother story. We've had a lot of drama regarding the girls and their dad. And after this, its almost certain that I probably won't be allowed by their father to see them anymore.
I managed to enjoy the zoo after that... although obviously my mind was elsewhere! But I tried to put it out of my mind for a while. It was hard though. We were all traumatized by what had just happened. we've always tried to sort of protect the kids from knowing about the kind of person Melissa and Maggie's dad is, but now Brandon couldn't stop talking about it. He was afraid that the girls were in danger, and wanted to know why we couldn't do something about it to protect the girls. He said, "Melissa and Maggie are such nice kids, and living with their dad is going to make them all screwed up!" He was so worried about it. He just kept talking about it, throughout the day, about how worried he was about the girls and how scary it had been when their dad started yelling and threatening Jimmy.
I'm still trying to figure this situation out.

The zoo was fun, though. I love it when we all do things together. We spent most of the day there and ate lunch there and everything. It was freezing cold though!!!

So then last night Diana and Jimmy and I went to the bar for a while. It helped to defragment my mind. We mostly played darts. Jimmy claims that I beat him once at cricket, but it was only because he gave me about fifty extra chances at the end. I really did beat Diana twice though! And we tied once. It was a lot of fun!

Today, I am exhausted, but its been pretty easy. The other little girl I babysit afterschool is spending the whole day with us because there's no school. I had to take her to her dentist appointment this morning, and the office was right by the mall, so after the dentist we spent the rest of the morning at the mall in the play area. Now Hayden is taking her nappy, and the other two are playing dolls and watching TV. I have to get the girl's brother at four, and thats when the hardest part of the day will start!

I will keep you updated on the girls!


She Looks Just Like You!

Today I took Hayden with me to the gas station to get some pumpkin seeds (which we later planted in the backyard to produce magical tiny pumpkins that will grow there on Friday!)When we went to pay, the lady behind the counter commented on how cute Hayden was. Then she said, "Oh my goodness, she looks just like you! So much like you! Wow!"
I didn't tell her that there is no blood relation between me and Hayden. I just said, "You think so?" and took it as a compliment! After all, who wouldn't want to be told that this little person looks just like them?

(By the way, my other blog is going to be out of commission for a few days, because I didn't pay my subscription! Wah!)


Long Weekend, BIG headache!

Oh man, I have the worst headache today, and all I want to do is sleep! I've been having a lot of headaches lately, but this one must be especially tough because I took some Tylenol and it still didn't go away! I need Vicadin or something! ;)
It was kind of a long weekend because Diana and Jimmy were fighting again and everyone was upset. We didn't do much except sleep. Jimmy took the baby for a while on Saturday, then brought her back, then took her again on Sunday for dinner with his family, and brought her back again, so at least we got kind of a break because the smallest and most troublesome member of the household was away! But we missed her! When Jimmy first came to take her on Saturday, he was planning to take the big kids too, but they didn't want to go, so then he said he'd just take her overnight at his house. I started crying just at the thought of the baby being gone overnight! I don't know why it bothers me so much, when the big kids used to go with their dad all the time and it never bothered me. I guess because with them it was more of a positive thing, like, "Thank God Tony is actually spending some time with them and being a dad to them," whereas with Hayden it just feels like she's getting separated out of the rest of the familyand going to live a different life without us!!!
AW MAN my head hurts so bad I'm going to throw up! I was hoping to do my laundry and catch up on reading all my blogs today, but just trying to look at the bright computer screen is killing me!!!!!!!!1



I'm homesick for the ocean! Its like it changed something inside of me. Weird that it will probably be years before I see it again...


Don't Know

I am having sort of a bad day because it just feels like everyone is angry and it feels like the ground is shifting out from under me or something. I just feel weird and bad and yucky today. I took Hayden this morning to see a show at the library with singing and stuff, and she liked it a lot. After we got Abby from the bus Jimmy came home cause he wanted to take them to see their grandma today. So they had lunch and then he took them, and I was sort of glad because i am so sad today I am feeling nervous and worried all day long and it is hard to be cheerful for them. I have to get Ben and Claire in a few hours and I am dreading it, and then I have to go to school and I am dreading that. I just want to crawl under a rock somewhere and cry for about five hours and then I'll feel better. I don't know why I'm having such a bad day!!! I just feel like when I came back from florida everyone is angry at me and everything has changed. I just feel so weird today. Major anxiety. :( Today when we were having lunch Abby said "Its good to have you back Nicki!" I love those little kids so much. Sometimes they're the only reason why I try to hold my mind together. Why is everyone angry? why does everything feel so yucky?

If you want to see something more cheerful check ouot my other blog, Slow down Gym Shoe, where I posted my pics from the cruise! I can't look at them now though cause its gonna make me cry. :(


Is it a full moon or what?

Dude, yesterday was such a weird day because, between Brandon and Mauricio and I, we saw three car accidents happen in the same area, within a few hours of each other. The first one happened as I was driving to go pick up the two big kids I babysit after school. As I drove down the rode, I heard screeching and a bang behind me, looked in my rearview mirror, and saw that a car making a left turn into my lane had crashed into the car behind me. I continued on my merry way, ladadadadadadada, and went to the library to wait for Candice. As Abby and Hayden and I hung around outside the library with all of the young juvenile delinquents who congregate there (plus we saw Mauricio there, that juvenile delinquent!) we saw a car pull out of the parking lot of the school and crash into a car that was driving down the street. That was bizarro! Then, at dinner time, Brandon told us he had seen a car accident happen too, in a different intersection in the same area! weird, right?
Last night was fun after that because I went to the bar with Diana and Jimmy. I had cherry bombs and played darts and it was fun! Today we mostly just hung around the house and recovered. Jimmy had to work today, and when he came home he brought me one of those things that you can plug into your computer, that gives you more UPC ports! I've been wishing for one of those, because on my laptop I only have 2 ports and I have to pick and choose which things I want to plug in. For instance, I cannot print something off of my flash drive, while using my mouse at the same time. I would have to unplug my mouse in order to plug in my printer. With this little thing, now I can plug in four extra things! He also gave me a laser pointer that also works for presentations. Like if you're putting a computer presentation up on a projector, you can use the device to flip the pages, and use the laser pointer part to point. Isn't that cool? I can't wait until I can use it for school sometime!
So I broke my toe the other day and it REALLY hurts! You wouldn't think it would hurt much, since its only a toe, but it actually shoots pain up through my whole foot! I can barely walk on it at all. Bleh.
OK I think I am going to go to sleep now!