2008-08-28

Angel, Unmedicated

So. I'm on medication for depression/anxiety,, which I've basically been on and off for about eight years now. The problem is, when you run out, and you don't take it, you get kind of dizzy and start feeling really irritable, and sort of emotionally fragile.
So way back on the 24th I called in my refill request to the pharmacy, and they've been faxing the request to my so-called doctor ever since. And getting no reply. I called the doctor's office myself, and the receptionist told me to have the pharmacy fax it to a different number at their other office. And still, guess what? No reply! And if I don't get my meds by tomorrow, the doctor won't be in until Tuesday, and I'll have to go four more days with nothing, and I'll probably get sick.
And today is kind of a bad day anyway because Hayden was crabby and then Diana came home and was mad at everyone, and its the kind of day where I'm on the edge of my skin thinking, I really tried hard today, but if only I had put that box of crayons away, if only I hadn't done that art project with the kids, if only I had gotten Hayden down for her nap earlier, if only etc, etc, etc. Its a day where I totally feel like ripping my skin right off but if I started Id never stop. I feel like punching walls or something, but i can't do that, because in my life I just have to stay quiet and peaceful and not make problems for anyone, because there is no place and no person in my life that cannot be yanked out from under me if I mess up.
I'm just gonna go lay down.

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