2008-05-24

Had a Bad Day...

I'm startin to wish this day never happened!
It started out promising enough cause the big kids were with their dads, and although Diana was depressed due to fighting with Jimmy, we were making the best of things by ordering a pizza and watching TV and planning on taking a nap.
Then Jimmy came over and was hootin and hollerin and calling Diana all sorta bitches and ho's as he moved his stuff out of the house. I swear I was flashing back to Anthony days and Nick days cause I was scared he was gonna start hittin her. I mean he never did before but theres always a first time and he was really loud and everythiing.
So then they both go outside, and I'm inside holdin onto the baby, and tryin not to have an anxiety attck right then and there cause I had to watch Hayden,
then Jimmy comes in and says Well Diana won't get outta my car! It was a little weird ause he was sayin it into Hayden's toy microphon e, "Sheee wooonnt geeet ouuuut of my caaaaaar!" and it was sort of twilight zone.
Then Jimmmmy left again, saying he was gonna walk home to his house, and handed Hayden to me again, and I was fittin to put her down for a nap because she had been taking one when Jimmy had stormed in and woke her up. So II made her a bottle and put her down in the bed. Then Diana called me from Jimmy's phone, because Jimmy was just driving his car with Diana in it!
So the baby never went back to sleep and I was watching Hayden again, and all shit just keeps breakin loose and breakin loose and breakin loose. I could hear them yelling and hollering outside and threatening to call the cops on ech other an everything else.
The thing I hate is I felt like throwing up and crying and faintin and everything else but I gotta stay calm and act normal so I can take care of the baby so basically I was just trying to keep my mind from flying away
and I know everyone wold say "So just go back home to your moms house if you can't deal" because theoretically none of this is my problem BUT it doesnt work that way cause this IS my family and these ARE the people I love and if I was at home I'd be even worse you know. People always seem to think I don't even have a right to be freakin out about these thigs but I cant help it cause they ARE my family and I just want so bad for everyone to be happy and I hate hearin people fight and I just wanted to hide under the table like I used to back in the da when Nick and Diana would fight, only now I got Hayden to look after.
So supposedly Jimmys taken the kids to the carnival later on and supposedly I'm gonna go with although I don't know how thats gonna work out
And now the big kids are home.

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