2008-05-10

Going Crazy

I am about to snap, seriously, my mind is whirling because I've just had ENOUGH of this day!
I went to my little cousin's family birthday party today which is always a stresstul event, not because of my little cousins but because of all of the adults running around. My grandpa thinks I should just quit school and work full time again since its taking me too long to finish school, they all seem to think I'm a loser, my uncle wouldn't let his kid go up the stairs to play with my other cousins even when I was with them, my mom was acting like she was hyped up on cocaine and talked at the top of her lungs the whole time trying to one-up everyone at everything, it was just so noisy and crowded... and by the end of the party I was seriously about to have a panic attack because I just had no escape! Plus its an hour long car ride there and back, so I was trapped in a car with my parents for two hours losing my mind.
So then I came home and felt sick and just passed out for a few hours with my cat in my arms, which was actually nice... except I had horrible nightmares the whole time! I don't even know what they were about but they had something to do with dying and that if you stopped watching people for a moment they would disappear, or something like that, and being alone in the dark outside and being afraid of coyotes and stuff... I don't know, they were like fever dreams except I wasn't sick.
SO then I woke up and was feeling all jittery and decided to try to distract myself by figuring out how to download songs to my new phone. But I couldn't figure out how to put in the memory card into the phone! It isn't anywhere in the manual, or anyplace else, and I can't find a memmory slot anywhere. Which wouldn't be a big deal if I wasn't already on edge...
And my mom is being bitchy and snapping at me, and I'm just jttery and having trouble breathing and about to cry, and I want so bad to go back to Diana's house but I think she doesn't want me to come because I kept asking her through text message and she never answered, so I guess they probably want to be alone for once cause I'm there far too often anyway. So hopefully I can go there tomorrow but I don't know...
I'm seriously about to rip my skin off dude. ANd I can't even go to sleep because I took that weird nightmare filled nap a while ago...
So here's my plan. I'm just going to go upstairs, take a whole bunch of Tylenol PM, and hopefully be able to go to sleep, and then maybe in the morning I will call Diana again and see if I can go over there. Even if they're not home I just want to be OUT of here! Everyone hates me so much and I'm such a loser to everyone and my grandpa is like, "Work full time" and my dad is like, "All your stuff is still in my garage and so I can't buy an antique car" and my mom is like, "Whats your problem" and I'm just like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
So lemme just go take that Tylenol and turn my brain off for the night.
Thats all.

1 comments:

brandonsmom_02 said...

I am sorry your day was so crappy and stressful. I am even more sorry that you thought I was ignoring you. I just honestly assumed you were coming over. I didn't think you were asking for permission because you NEVER have to ask for permission. Just come over. Mi casa is su casa!!

-Diana

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