2008-04-17

Well That Was A Weird Night!

Last night was sort of a strange night indeed!
I was watching Abby and Hayden yesterday and everything was going smoothly. After Brandon came home from school, I sent him and Abby out to play outside, and they found all of their neighborhood friends, and I brought Hayden out and sat with her so she could watch them. Time went by quickly, and suddenly I realized that it was already 6:30 and Diana wasn't back yet from work!
I started to get alarmed because usually Diana is home by like 5:30, and if not she usually calls me to see what is going on or whatever. And lately Diana has been having a hard time in life, and she had mentioned that she sometimes felt like being dead. And that morning I had seen on the counter a notebook with words written on it like, "I hate you. I'm miserable. I'm done."
So I started to worry that maybe something horrid had happened. I called Diana's work but nobody answered. Then I called Jimmy, and he said Diana was on the phone with him right at that very minute! So I was like, "OK cool."
Next, Diana called me to say that she was going to stay at work, and Jimmy was going to come home and see the kids for a while and then leave, and then she would come home.
So Jimmy came home and brought McDonalds to the kids and gave Hayden a bath and did all the usual things. Then he was like, "Can you stay with the kids a little extra so I could go take Diana out to someplace quiet and we could talk in a civil way and work things out?"
I said, "Sure, go. Maybe you can work it out and stay together and be happy."
Jimmy said, "Well at least we could work it out so everyone can be happy."
Shortly thereafter, Diana came home, and it turned out that Jimmy had just met her at the bar and they didn't go anywhere quiet after all, and they were still fighting but Jimmy told her that we are all going to go to the city on Saturday.
I hope we do go to the city because I like the city! But you never know with Jimmy. He always has big plans in his head.
I feel bad because Diana is so sad lately. I feel guilty because I know how horrid it feels to be depressed, because I been through it a lot, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone especially Diana. I feel bad because I like being at her house and I like spending my days watching the kids, and I feel bad being happy when she is sad. Usually I am sad, but I just like being part of a family and being part of something and feeling like I somewhat belong. I wish I could make everyone happy. I never am sure what to do. :(

1 comments:

brandonsmom_02 said...

Oh Nicky. I am sooo sorry. I WANT you to be happy. I WANT the kids to be happy. I even WANT Jimmy to be happy. I am so sorry that I am making everyone uncomfortable. I am being a selfish, ignorant person. I love you all so very much! I am going to try harder.

So, any word on school?

-Diana

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