Baby Steps And Other News

I am at my mom's house doing laundry and I am so glad that I don't have school on Tuesdays and Thursdays any more, for a few weeks anyway! Today my big job is to finish two final school projects, and completely organize my room. Think I can do it in just one day?
Anyway, yesterday I captured this video of Hayden taking some of her first steps! She actually took a lot more steps than this video shows, later on... I think eventually she took six steps in a row! She is great at standing up, and then she just sort of tilts forward and waits for her legs to try to keep her balance! Its very funny to watch, and she loves trying to walk! Probably within a few weeks she'll be walking like a pro!
(Sorry the video is a little dark... I don't know why they always turn out that way!)

Here are a few more pics of life with Abby and Hayden...

We went to Morton Arboretum last Friday to see the giant bugs. Here are the girls with one of them! Abby always looks a little bedraggled on the days she's with me...

They have this man-made river there that kids can play in. Abby had a blast wading around, and leading all of the other kids there in making a dam with the rocks!

Abby loves playing with makeup and pretending to be Hannah Montana! She loves to say, "Pretend I was Hannah Montana and you were my biggest fan!"

Hayden has figured out how to climb from the couch onto the end table, where I keep my computer. She's obsessed with it! It is now impossible to use the computer when she's awake, because she's worse than the big kids! The big kids are like, "Can I use the computer when you're done?" And Hayden is like, "I MUST HAVE IT NOW!"

Hayden looking for her Fruity Cheerios

Hayden crawling up to me and trying to steal my camera

Hayden after I took my camera away from her

Never a dull moment, right?
I was just thinking about how my life is so different now that I watch the girls and spend most of my time over there. Shortly before I started watching them, I was going through a lot of depression and anxiety. I still do go through depression and anxiety a lot, but way less often and less intensely than before. At my mom's house when I have to clean up, I feel like I'm going through torture. But at Diana's, when I'm cleaning up after the kids, I don't mind it... I feel good to be taking care of things. I love spending so much time with the girls, and with Brandon when he's home (which is rarer and rarer, now that he's 11!) And I love at the end of the day when Diana and Jimmy come home and everyone is together.
The only thing I miss is being with Trixie and Sammy-Joe. I really only see them twice a week now. But even if I had my own place, I doubt my parents would let me bring Trixie with me. Even though she was supposed to be my dog! And Sammy-Joe... he's such an anxious cat, I don't even know if he'd want to move somewhere else with me! :(
Anyway, I hope you like the video and pics!


Weekend Statistics...

Number of days it was cold and/or rainy: Two

Number of children who didn't get to see their dad this weekend because he was being a jerk: Two

Number of people who got arrested: One

Number of people who said they were going out to buy shoes, and then never returned: One

Number of babies who learned how to climb up onto the table and hack into my computer; one

Number of people who got really drunk and spilled their bodily fluids everywhere: One

Number of my eyeballs that were glued shut when I woke up this morning: Two

Number of injuries and fatalities throughout the weekend: zero!

Not bad, not bad!


Yay! A Chance To Breathe!

Hi everyone! I'm relieved because I am finished with two of my classes, and I turned in all of my papers and projects for those classes on time! It was a miracle! I still have like three projects to do to turn in for my third, and worst, class next Friday. But after that, I'll be done with the semester... and hopefully, done with that school! I'm going to try to transfer to Roosevelt. There are many reasons. I hate Northeastern because its ghetto, plus, I know I'm not going to be able to keep up with this cohort thing. You have to take the classes when and where they tell you to, instead of choosing to take the classes at your own convenience. That means, during the fall semester, I would be expected to go to school from 9:30 am to 5:30 pm, and do clinicals one day a week! There is no way on earth that I can do clinicals when I'm in school all day on Tuesdays and Thursdays, because I watch the kids on the other days. ANd when I'm watching them three days a week, taking four back-to-back classes on the other days of the week is just asking for trouble! Plus I think at Roosevelt I can actually finish faster. I'm really going to try that. I'm going to do summer school at Northeastern this summer, and then start at Roosevelt in the fall!
I'm going to do it right this time too. I'll go to an admissions counselor and everything, instead of just trying to do it all by myself. I swear!
Other than that things are cool I guess. I'm just so glad to be done with this nightmarish semester. I am so happy it is spring and getting warmer out. I am so happy that its going to be the weekend soon and I'll get to hang out with Diana! I mean I hang out with them every single day basically but the weekend is just way less stressful.
I am trying to do laundry right now but its taking me a million hours because I had to stop the ;aundry while it was still soaking wet, because the machine was spiraling out of control, and now it is taking forever to dry! I should just go to the laundrymat and bring my laptop next time, huh, so I could do all my loads at once.
Dude I so badly hate Tuesdays and Thursdays... well I like them because I get to be with my dog and cat, who I have been horribly neglecting lately... but its so quiet and lonely, and using the computer is the only thing there is to do, and I get too twitchy!
Oh well.


Puking Party

Well, the weekend started out promising! On Saturday Diana and Jimmy and the kids and me were going to go to the Field Museum for the day, and then the big kids would go to their dad's house for the night. But on Saturday morning, Brandon said he didn't want to go with us, he wanted to go with his across-the-street friend to a movie with two girls! We pleaded with him to go with us for our family day, but Brandon was so excited to go out with his friends, so we left him go.
Then, as we were getting ready for the museum, I had just gotten Hayden all dressed and everything, when she stuck her finger down her throat! I pulled her hand out of her mouth, but it was too late... she puked all over the place!
Throughout the day, Hayden continued to puke every so often. Jimmy figured it was because they had switched Hayden's formula. Besides, she wasn't even acting sick. She'd just calmly puke, and the rest of the time she'd be happy as a clam!
Meanwhile, the rest of the museum was pretty cool! Me and Abby got lost for a while though. It was alarming. Abby didn't even care that we were lost and kept running farther and farther, until finally I picked her up and carried her while I searched for Diana and Jimmy... then I gave up and put her down and let her explore Egypt until Jimmy snuck up and found us.
We didn't stay there a long time because it was closing early. We saw the Nature part, and the Egypt part, and some of Africa.
Afterwards, we went and had dinner with Jimmy's mom and dad. By then the baby was starting to get cranky and kept puking, and Abby was acting like a crazed banshee. We all ate dinner and it was pretty good. I was hella full because we had eaten lunch at McDonalds, but Jimmy and his parents were all like, "Eat more of this!" Then I was really hella full!
Then after that we went home, and right after we got home we went to drop Brandon and Abby off by their dad. By that time Hayden was screaming bloody murder snd when we got home she had gotten the runs through her clothes and she was really mad. We brought her right in and got her cleaned up and she seemed okay and went to bed.
So the switched formula theory still seemed valid, and everything. Jimmy went out somewhere. I went out and got milkshakes for Diana and me. By the time I finished my milkshake, I was so full, I had a horrid stomachache, and I thought, "Man, I better not eat this much ever again in one day!" We had a huge McDonalds breakfast in the morning, McDonalds for lunch, chinese food for dinner, and now milkshakes.
We went to bed and I had the worst stomachache ever and had horrid dreams about eating.
In the middle of the night I woke up and felt so horrid. I got up to get a drink. Only it didn't go so well. When I got into the kitchen, I suddenly projectile vomited ! I ran to the sink and just puked up fifty gallons of everything I ever ate that day. I felt like I just kept on puking and puking!
Finally there was nothing left. I was like, "Uh Diana and Jimmy are gonna kill me!" So I cleaned it all up and put bleach in the sink and went to bed. But I still had the most horrid stomachache on earth!
In the morning, guess what... I woke up and puked again! This time in the bathroom like normal people. And suddenly I knew I wasn't sick just from eating so much... and Hayden wasn't sick just from the wrong formula!
Diana got up when she heard me puking, and started quizzing me about my symptoms, because she wanted to make sure she would know if she was getting it! Then Jimmy got up, and when Diana told him I was puking, he said, "I'd better puke right now too." And he did!
Thats pretty much how the day went. Everyone puking and shitting and sleeping whenever possible, and Hayden just crawling around feeling fine. Eventually Diana had her mom come get the baby so we wouldn't have to worry about her. Jimmy periodically called people and described our puking and shitting in graphic detail so they would be updated. I slept a lot mostly because whenever I slept I felt better.
It was a horrid day!
Today was better though. Everyone felt a little better and we even got up and did stuff. We had Korean meat and rice and vegetables for dinner. It was the first thing we all ate in days besides chicken soup and gingerale.
So. Worst thing of the weekend: Being hella sick.
Best thing of the weekend: Everyone being together. Even when we were sick.


Guess what?

Chicken butt!

Well That Was A Weird Night!

Last night was sort of a strange night indeed!
I was watching Abby and Hayden yesterday and everything was going smoothly. After Brandon came home from school, I sent him and Abby out to play outside, and they found all of their neighborhood friends, and I brought Hayden out and sat with her so she could watch them. Time went by quickly, and suddenly I realized that it was already 6:30 and Diana wasn't back yet from work!
I started to get alarmed because usually Diana is home by like 5:30, and if not she usually calls me to see what is going on or whatever. And lately Diana has been having a hard time in life, and she had mentioned that she sometimes felt like being dead. And that morning I had seen on the counter a notebook with words written on it like, "I hate you. I'm miserable. I'm done."
So I started to worry that maybe something horrid had happened. I called Diana's work but nobody answered. Then I called Jimmy, and he said Diana was on the phone with him right at that very minute! So I was like, "OK cool."
Next, Diana called me to say that she was going to stay at work, and Jimmy was going to come home and see the kids for a while and then leave, and then she would come home.
So Jimmy came home and brought McDonalds to the kids and gave Hayden a bath and did all the usual things. Then he was like, "Can you stay with the kids a little extra so I could go take Diana out to someplace quiet and we could talk in a civil way and work things out?"
I said, "Sure, go. Maybe you can work it out and stay together and be happy."
Jimmy said, "Well at least we could work it out so everyone can be happy."
Shortly thereafter, Diana came home, and it turned out that Jimmy had just met her at the bar and they didn't go anywhere quiet after all, and they were still fighting but Jimmy told her that we are all going to go to the city on Saturday.
I hope we do go to the city because I like the city! But you never know with Jimmy. He always has big plans in his head.
I feel bad because Diana is so sad lately. I feel guilty because I know how horrid it feels to be depressed, because I been through it a lot, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone especially Diana. I feel bad because I like being at her house and I like spending my days watching the kids, and I feel bad being happy when she is sad. Usually I am sad, but I just like being part of a family and being part of something and feeling like I somewhat belong. I wish I could make everyone happy. I never am sure what to do. :(


Icy Cold

I am at my mom's house now and freezing to death as I type this, so I probably won't write for long because my hands are so cold!!!!! Maybe I'll go upstairs and use my computer there... but I like being down here with my cat!
I feel like I am losing all track of time. I have no concept of what day it is! I don't know why. I'm losing my mind I guess. This morning I had a horrid nightmare an dI woke up really fast, all jolted, and Jimmy was walking out the door saying, "I don't want no sandwich," and Diana was on the couch saying, "Jesus!" Hmmmm...
Anyway last night we were all going to go to Enchanted Castle with the kids, but it was so nice out, and Brandon and Abby were outside playing with all sorts of neighborhood kids, and even Hayden was out there letting Abby and her friend push her around in the stroller, and we hated to break up that sort of old-fashioned fun! Diana's neighborhood is one of the last ones on Earth where all the kids play together outside, all different ages, usually in Diana's yard, playing Hide And Seek and stuff!
So instead Jimmy went out for Chinese food and brought home enough to feed an entire Third World country! I ate so much I was gonna pop! It was hella good though. Then me and Diana went out to the bar and played darts and video bowling. This time I didn't have anything to drink, and Diana beat me even at bowling! Weird. But it was fun. I like going there because I feel sort of like a normal person doing normal people things. And I like going anywhere at all with Diana! She makes everything fun!
I am in a foul mood today though because school isn't going so well. See for my school in order to be in the Special Ed program you have to also apply for the regular Education Program. I was already accepted into the Special Ed program and have been taking classes, and I had to apply for the regular Education program. If you don't get into it, you get kicked out of the Special Ed program also. I don't know why they do it that way. Its a crappy way to do it, right?
The other day was the day in which the Education Department people had a meeting to decide who gets accepted to the Education program, and I heard there was a list on the window outside the office, of all the people who got in. So I went there, to that office, and I looked on the list... and I wasn't on it!
I'm going to call them tomorrow and try to figure out what is going on, but basically it comes down to, I'm screwed. The world has done its best to keep me stuck as poor and dumb and living with my parents or being homeless forever, and the world just may have succeeded this time!
I'll figure it out though, right? I will. I gotta. Right?



I have the worst headache right now, and I've had it all day! Its making my eyes blurry and making it hard to focus on the computer, which is why I will be logging off in a minute and closing my eyes to block out the pain!
Didn't do much this weekend. It was rainy, and our plans to do something fun on Saturdays fell to the ground. Rainy days suck! It is so hard to get motivated when you're cold and gloomy! Anyway, we just hung around the house yesterday until it was time for the kids to go with their dad, and then we really just hung around the house again today. Diana ran some errands with John and did some other random things, and I watched Hayden. We had a visitor to the house named Mike who somewhat reminds me of my big brother. I took an unintentional nap. We had White Castle for supper.
Now Diana and John and Jimmy are up at the bar and I am here watching the kids who are all sleeping! I wouldn't want to go with them today anyway cause I got such a bad headache.
I hope tomorrow my headache was gone! We were supposed to have a morning playgroup at the playground, but it got switched to Open Gym at noon because its supposed to be so cold outside tomorrow :( Bummer.



When I was a kid, whenever I'd ask someone what the highest number in the world was, they'd tell me, "There is no highest number in the world, because you can always keep adding one."
Last night, however, I learned that that is not true!
It all started when Diana said she'd give Jimmy a pletillion dollars if he'd bring her something (I forget what, probably a tacquito maybe...) and then she said, "See why I don't like him to give me money? Because I already owe him, like, pletillions of dollars!" Then we started contemplating whether there is even such thing as a pletillion, and I pointed out that there might be, because there can't be words for *every single number since the numbers go up to infinity, so after a certain point you'd have to start just making up words for numbers!
Then Jimmy explained that, actually, there is a name for the highest number in the world, and it is a googleplex!
Diana and me bust out laughing at the word googleplex! Diana was sure Jimmy just made that up, and we were literally ROFL about googleplex and all of its infinite possibilities! Like...
"Gas is really getting expensive now! Today I had to pay googleplex!"
Or you go to jail and the judge sets your bail at googleplex. Then you have to get someone to post one-tenth of googleplex so you can get out! And what is one-tenth of googleplex? Diana thought, maybe, a goo?
Or you might never get out of jail anyway because you're facing googleplex to life!
It probably doesn't sound that funny to you all, reading it calmly on your computer screens, but trust me, me and Diana were laughing so hard, we had tears coming out of our eyes, and I nearly got sick to my stomach!
As we laughed hysterically about googleplex for about ten hours, Jimmy was in the kitchen making tacos and getting angry. I guess he thought we were making fun of him, but we were just making fun of googleplex! It really aggravated him. He said, "You should look it up!"
So I did look it up, just now, and found out that what we were hearing as googleplex is really Googloplex. Jimmy was right, a googloplex really is the highest number known to man... And I suck at math, so instead of explaining it to you, I'll refer you to this Wikipedia article about it! (Then maybe you can explain it to me!)
So, sorry Jimmy! ;)
A few more bits of wisdom I picked up yesterday...
*When you've had a long day, and you feel like just going for a nice long walk, do not bring a four-year-old and her scooter, because the four-year-old will fall off her scooter forty million times during the walk and she will get tired and she will cry that she is tired and itchy and has hundreds of boo-boos, and she will lie down on the sidewalk and holler while all the people in the cars passing by stare at you, and you will end up carrying her scooter home while she walks, and it will not be relaxing at all.

*When you take a four-year-old and her baby sister to Walgreens with you to pick up a prescription, do not under any circumstances mention to a stranger that the reason the girls look so different is because they have different dads, because this will lead the four-year-old to announce to the whole store that her dad went to jail, and the stranger's face will turn bright red.

*While rushing to find an aisle to hide the children in while you wait for your prescription, don't choose the toy aisle, whatever you do, because the four-year-old will see a singing bird in a cage that costs only $5.00, and she will beg you to get it for you, and you'll probably give in because its only five bucks, and then she'll profess her undying love for the bird, and then she'll break it four thousand times and she'll cry and you'll have to hold your breath and pray that you can fix the stupid thing just once more, and finally you'll tell the four-year-old, "Look, just don't touch this toy anymore! Its just to look at!" But she'll still carry it around everywhere, and it will chirp constantly.

*When you tell all the children in the house to go play outside because its such a nice day out, they will either hoot and holler and cry that you're torturing them, or they will blatantly ignore you. Even the neighbor's children will refuse to leave your house when you ask them to. You may need to hire a bouncer.

*When you are sleeping on a couch, and a four-year-old comes out at four in the morning and wants to sleep by you, you probably shouldn't let her, because she';l sleep right on top of you, and then she'll tell you that she wet the bed.

Thats enough wisdom from me for today! Remember to go check out my other blog, Adventures Of A Stay-At-Home Auntie, to catch up on what me and the kids have been doing!


What a Weekend!!!

Hi everyone! I'm actually at my mom's house now, where I have not been at all since last Friday! Feels weird to be here... but I'm happy to see my dog and cat!
I already wrote a few days ago about what an awesome day Saturday was! Sunday was also awesome in a different way. Jimmy and John were working again, and Brandon and Abby were still with their dad, so it was just me and Diana and the baby. We spent the day running a few random errands, and napping! Pretty good way to spend a Sunday, if you ask me!
I stayed overnight again on Sunday night, and watched the girls on Monday as usual. It was a pretty cool day. We went to a playgroup at the mall, and there was this place there that was offering free professional photo sittings, so they got their picture taken! I'll have to show you the free print I got, if it ever comes back! It was very cool.
However, things started to go more badly on Monday evening. Diana and Jimmy had been having problems, and that day Diana had told Jimmy she wanted to take a break. So we weren't even sure if Jimmy and John were coming back that night, and spirits were sort of glum in general. Then they came home, but John left right away in an unexpected departure to go stay by himself at Jimmy's other house. Jimmy stayed for a while and played with the kids, but then after the kids went to bed Jimmy said he was going home, and then him and Diana got in a huge fight that ended with Jimmy storming out and Diana crying.
So now everything is rather sad and it is hard to tell who is coming and who is going.
I hate it when people are fighting and stuff! When I was younger, whenever people were getting in fights I would just melt into myself and stop talking and be in my own world until it was over, or until I ended up having an anxiety attack. I used to have anxiety attacks left and right, back in the day! Often now days I still wish I could do that, just cover my head and close my eyes and disappear for a while, when I'm feeling bad. I'm gonna miss Jimmy a lot if he's not around because he just gave off a general feeling of things being under control and plus he was always nice to me. Plus I just hate changes, and when Hayden first got born I was not around a lot, partly because I didn't want to get attached to Hayden and Jimmy until I knew they were sticking around. But then I got attached to them and now Jimmy is going, and I just can't stand when people leave! In my perfect world, everyone would stick together and be a family and not all be falling apart and drifting off in separate directions all the time. In a perfect world I would get a big huge duck tape and stick everyone together so they couldn't leave.
Oh well, we'll see how it goes, I guess, right?

I wanted to take my dog to the park today so I came home early from school. But its raining so I can't. Bleh.


Saturday Is My Favorite Day!

Saturday is my favorite day in the world. I could deal with the rest of the week easily, just knowing that Saturday is at the end of it!
Today was another beautiful day. In Chicago where I live, as soon as it starts looking like spring, everyone's mood lifts so much and everyone wants to go outside right away! We went to the Riverwalk in Naperville, where you can walk along the river and feed the ducks and geese. We fed ducks and geese, stopped at a park where Abby and I rolled down a huge hill (man was I dizzy!)and then went to a playground where we all played on the swings! Then, afterwards, we all went to the best ice cream place in the world, Cold Stone Creamery! I had chocolate cake batter ice cream with coconut mixed in.
By the time we finished all that, it was time to drop Brandon and Abby off at their dad's house. So now its just me and Diana at home with Hayden. Jimmy and John are still at work.
Diana says we're going to try to do something really fun with the kids every Saturday, right before we take them to their dad's. That way we get to have fun and spend a lot of quality time together, and when we are all tired, we can drop the big kids off with their dad, and RELAX! Man, I love Brandon and Abby, but when you are with them all the time, it feels like a huge break to just have some quiet time! Hayden is still here, but she's small and manageable. Except she has had diarreah for the past two days. That part is not very manageable.
I had so much fun today. I feel like if I just kept on having great days once in a while, it would be a natural cure for a lot of my depression and anxiety!
Diana broke up with Jimmy last night, by the way. Except Diana says not a whole lot is going to change, because Jimmy will still be around and everything. The results have yet to be seen.


Another Good Day

Hi everyone! I am starting to get happy because it is getting warmer out and the kids and I can spend lots of time outside. It really makes the day go by fast! Today we went to McDonalds in the morning because there was supposed to be a playgroup there, except only one other person came and her son was a few years younger than Abby. Abby had a good time anyway playing with random other kids who were at the McDonalds. Then we went home, and since Hayden fell asleep in the car I just put her down in her bed, and then Abby and I spent most of the rest of the time outside. It just makes the day go by surprisingly fast!
Now I'm watching the kids again because Diana, John and Jimmy went out to the bar. But just now Jimmy came back by himself and said he's going to his other house (his condo, which he still owns even though he lives at Diana's house now) to sleep. It was sort of weird and I was like, "Oooooohhhkaaaaayyy, so are you coming back eventually?" and he said yes he is and anyway all his stuff is here. Hmm. Weird.
I don't know, I'm getting sort of tired so I might try to sleep for a while until Diana and John get back. Tomorrow we might go to the Arboretum! And the big kids are going to their dad's tomorrow afternoon! So tomorrow is sure to be a great day for everyone!



Bleh I'm so bored. My parents are out at a restaurant somewhere eating Gumbo for dinner. I didn't go because I'm not hungry. It feels weird to be here at night now. I wonder what Diana and them are doing?

Hanging Out

Guess what I did yesterday? I went and hung out at the bar with Diana like a normal person! It started out cause Jimmy told Diana he'd watch the kids at night so me and Diana could go out and do something, but we weren't sure what to do because usually I get nervous at the bar and I don't drink a lot. So we were going to go see a movie, but we went to the cheap theater and it turned out it wasn't cheap anymore, and plus they had no movies we'd ever heard of before. Then we went to a bigger theater, but they had only Indian movies playing for some reason! Weird. Then we decided to go out to eat, but Diana said we should go have a drink first and then go out to eat, so she'd feel better. So we went to the bar, and we ended up just staying and hanging out there! It wasn't like a normal night though. Its a small neighborhood bar, and it was a weekday night, so barely anyone was there and nobody was even playing the jukebox. We played the bowling video game and I beat Diana twice! Then we played darts a few times... Diana taught me how to play Cricket, which is easier for me to understand than the other game we used to play that involves all sorts of mathematical equasions! She always beat me at darts, but I got pretty close! Plus I had two drinks... cherry bombs, which have Redbull in them and some sort of cherry liqour, and they taste just like red pop. It was a really fun night!
I think I had more fun this time because I was just hanging out with Diana and wasn't thinking about being different or anything like I usually am. I used to go there sometimes with Diana and Anthony but they always thought I wasn't having much fun because I'd get too nervous... but when there's a lot of people there I'm just not sure where to go, because people walk around and I don't want to follow them like a puppy!
Anyway we had lots of fun and then we got Taco Bell and went home and just hung out for a while longer. It was cool to have a night to hang out like a regular person!
During the day yesterday Brandon was on spring break so we went to Cosley Zoo and had a picnic. That was lots of fun except for when Abby got hurt and her hand was bleeding! She was playing on the caboose, and I was sitting at the picnic table with Hayden, and suddenly Abby came out and said, "I'm bleeding!" I thought she was joking at first, then she showed me her hand, and there was so much blood, I thought our next stop was going to be to the emergency room! But once I got it all washed off, I saw that all of that blood was just coming from one tiny little cut on her finger. She was hollering like a banshee, but I think it was partly because she was just scared from all that blood! I remember once when I Was a little kid I was playing on the big dirt hill in the field behind our house, and suddenly I looked at my hand and it was bright red with all sorts of blood! I started screaming like crazy and suddenly I just felt like it hurt really bad, even though I hadn't even noticed the pain until I saw the blood! Weird how brains work. But blood is a freaky thing for a little kid to see.
So we all survived in one piece, at least, and had a great day! I loved yesterday. I didn't want to go to sleep, because I didn't want to wake up and have it be today. But I did go to sleep, and then I woke up, and now I'm here... getting ready for school. Bummer!