2008-03-15

This Day Has Swallowed Me Up!

I don't know why but I feel like this day disappeared somewhere into the deep, dark, unknown. I had such great plans for today! I was going to get up and take my dog to the doggy playgroup that I've been promising her we'd go to, and then I was going to go hang out at Diana's!
Instead, I ended up sleeping in late, and then waking up disorientedly when someone came knocking at my front door to give me an invitation to the second coming of Christ. (Wouldn't want to miss that!) Spent most of the day doing my laundry, which actually requires me to stay in the basement so I can monitor the washing machine, which tends to start thumping and can end up halfway across the room. Then somehow, I don't know how, I fell asleep and slept for four hours! I really have no knowledge of how that happened... and when I woke up, I thought it was the next morning! But it was really night time. Ugh... so much for this day!
Anyway. So remember my mom was going all ballistic the other day because I spent the night at Diana's, with Trixie?
First of all, yesterday during the day my aunt called me to talk about an unrelated topic... my little cousin is Star Student at school next week and she wants me to come into her classroom to read a story to her class!!! I ended up telling my aunt about the incident with my mom, and she actually was shocked and alarmed! It was the part about my mom threatening to change the locks that really freaked out my aunt. My mom and my aunt have always been really close, so even though I have been trying to tell my aunt about my mom since I was a little kid, she's never really believed me. She would say, "No! Not your mom! Your mom wouldn't do that!" My mom is actually 15 years older than my aunt, opposed to my aunt being 8 years older than me, so my mom is almost a mother-figure to my aunt and my aunt never wanted to hear anything bad about her. But this time she believed me and she was like, "Seriously? Your mom is like that? I never would have thought! I'm so sorry for you!" She asked if my dad was like that too, and she actually seemed concerned. It was like a breath of fresh air to have someone in my family actually acknowledge it! All my life, my mom has managed to turn things around to make people (including myself!) believe that I was mentally unstable and had such horrid behavior. Nobody ever thought to wonder if perhaps there was a reason I acted the way I did. They all just wanted to believe my mom. I was so happy that this time my aunt really listened to me... but I'm still nervous because if my aunt mentions it to my mom, I'm sure my mom will tell "her" side of the story and make it seem like I did something horribly, horribly wrong!
Also, today I broke down and actually called my mom on her cellphone. Usually when she's out of town she calls me every single day to see how things are, but this time she hadn't called me at all since she had freaked out on me over the phone. I had been afraid to call her because I could imagine her doing what she sometimes does when she is mad, which is answering the phone but refusing to talk. Today I guess I got brave. And the bizarre thing was, she acted like nothing had happened! She was extremely cheerful! Its possible that they were in a public place, though, and that she just didn't want to start arguing over the phone. I don't know. She keeps me on a constant roller coaster!
I have to get out of this house somehow. I am starting to definitely realize that this isn't good for me. This morning I was feeling so aggravated and hopeless that I was practically suicidal... but luckily my ADHD kicked in to get my mind spinning. The good thing about my ADHD is, when things get bad, my brain starts whirling around trying to find a way out. After an hour or so of wanting to kill myself, I started thinking, "I know the Internet can somehow get me out of this jam!"

The problem is, even back in the day when I was working full time at the special ed school, and making ten bucks an hour, I couldn't afford an apartment out here! So now, while I am only working part-time, its going to be nearly impossible! The good thing is that now that I watch Abby and Hayden during the day, I could move out towards that area, Addison or Villa Park maybe, where apartments are a little cheaper and I'd still be close enough to school. But even that would be a very precarious venture. What I need to do is somehow get a couple thousand dollars saved up, so I'd be able to pay for several months of rent in advance. That way I wouldn't have to be living hand-to-mouth as much. I've been looking for other ways to get extra money in my spare time, with my Bookwise business and other online ventures, including this Cash Fiesta thing I just found.
THe Cash Fiesta thing is cool because you download this toolbar thing that goes on the top of your screen. Its not spyware or anything else, its just a toolbar that wants to show you ads all the time. You get points for every second that you have the toolbar up there! Then you can get more points by referring others to the program, trying out free offers, and doing other things. For instance, today I apparently made fifty bucks just by signing up for information from some colleges! This Cash Fiesta thing probably isn't going to pay my rent, but its going to help me save up, and give me some sense of hope for the future!
And of course I have my new blog, Adventures of a Stay At Home Auntie, where I get paid every time someone clicks on my ads. So go check out my ads! The program is just getting started, so right now I just have one ad, but apparently later on I'll be getting bigger and better ads!
Okay. So now it is ten o'clock and I am wide awake, drinking Dr. Pepper. Super! My mom comes home in the morning... I'm going to have to do some wicked speed cleaning before then!

Free money making opportunity

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