2008-01-15

Will Angel Make It In Life? (Circle Y/N)

Just got back from school... and actually I am writing this from the computer at my mom's work, which I will explain in a minute. But first of course I have to explain why I am upset today!
Remember how the other day I explained that I was having trouble with my school schedule, because I had not been scheduled for this one particular class, which I had signed up for at a meeting last semester by signing a piece of paper, because it wasn't possible to sign up through the telephone system? And then I was having trouble tracking down the department guy to figure out what to do? (He is also one of the teachers.)
Today I went to class and saw that teacher, and he asked to speak to me after class to straighten things out. So after class I actually had to go to his office with him, where he told me that I was supposed to sign up for that third class on the telephone system after all, and that signing the piece of paper had actually only been a way for him to get the names of people he had to authorize to sign up for this class. Then he said that a few other people had also had trouble signing up for the class, but those people had called him weeks ago, and had been able to straighten it out. He said that being a special education teacher requires one to be on top of things like that. He asked me if I had trouble organizing things for myself, and when I admitted that I have ADHD, he said he was a little concerend that this (meaing, I guess, the special ed program) wasn't going to work out for me.
Then he showed me the school's course catalog and made me read aloud to him the time of the third class, to prove that I understood how to sign up for it.
Perhaps this is the way my whole life will go. I will try very hard in life, actually make great accomplishments, but there will always be these little pieces of information missing, these little things everyone else besides me knows. And when I go to get teaching jobs, people will say, "Its admireable that you've been able to do this and this and this, but we really need someone for whom everything isn't such a struggle. You're a hard worker, but we need someone who doesn't have to work quite so hard to complete ordinary tasks. Someone who doesn't lose all the slips of papers they need to keep track of. Someone who doesn't panic at the prospect of making phone calls. Someone who doesn't freeze up when decisions need to be made. Someone whose shoes aren't constantly untied, whose hair doesn't fall down in their eyes, whose shirt is buttoned correctly. Someone who can look a person in the eye while speaking to them, without getting distracted by having to remember, 'Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact!' Someone who doesn't have to swallow a handful of pills each morning just to get through the day. And by the way, parents of kids with special needs don't want their children being taught by someone who cannot do math, who gets bored by politics and history, who doodles all over their desk... Good luck, and get lost!"
I want to be a special education teacher so bad, but sometimes it feels like I have no business even wishing for things like that...

And now for a more cheerful matter.
I am at my mom's work right now because, as soon as she gets out of some sort of meeting, we are going to go pick up our new foster dog! (I'll post pictures and write more about that tomorrow!)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the teacher was an asshole. THAT, my dear, you will ALWAYS have to deal with in life.

YAY about the dog!!! Can't wait to see him/her! Awesome!

-Diana

~Melissa~ said...

There will always be jerks in this world that will not have confidence in you. YOU keep believing in yourself and don't let those types bring you down. You will make it!

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